Your baby will have their own pattern of waking and sleeping, and it’s unlikely to be the same as other babies you know. It’s also unlikely to fit in with your need for sleep. Try to sleep when your baby sleeps.
If you’re breastfeeding, in the early weeks your baby is likely to doze off for short periods during a feed. Carry on feeding until you think your baby has finished or until they’re fully asleep. This is a good opportunity to try to get a bit of rest yourself.
If you’re not sleeping at the same time as your baby, don’t worry about keeping the house silent while they sleep. It’s good to get your baby used to sleeping through a certain amount of noise.
How can I get my baby used to night and day?
It’s a good idea to teach your baby that night-time is different from daytime from the start. During the day, open curtains, play games and don’t worry too much about everyday noises when they sleep.
At night, you might find it helpful to:
Keep the lights down low
Not talk much and keep your voice quiet
Put your baby down as soon as they’ve been fed and changed
Not change your baby unless they need it
Your baby will gradually learn that night-time is for sleeping.
Where should my baby sleep?
For the first six months your baby should be in the same room as you when they’re asleep, both day and night. Particularly in the early weeks, you may find your baby only falls asleep in your or your partner’s arms, or when you’re standing by the cot.
You can start getting your baby used to going to sleep without you comforting them by putting them down before they fall asleep or when they’ve just finished a feed. It may be easier to do this once your baby starts to stay alert more frequently or for longer.
The Lullaby Trust offer advice on safe sleep for babies.
Newborn sleep: what to expect
Newborn babies will sleep on and off throughout the day and night. It can be helpful to have a pattern, but you can always change the routine to suit your needs.
For example, you could try waking your baby for a feed just before you go to bed in the hope you’ll get a long sleep before they wake up again.
Establishing a baby bedtime routine
You may feel ready to introduce a bedtime routine when your baby is around three months old. Getting them into a simple, soothing bedtime routine can be helpful for everyone and help prevent sleeping problems later on. It’s also a great opportunity to have one-to-one time with your baby.
The routine could consist of:
Having a bath
Changing into night clothes and a fresh nappy
Brushing their teeth
(if they have any!)
Putting them into their bed
Reading a bedtime story
Dimming lights to create a calm atmosphere
Giving a goodnight kiss and a cuddle
Singing a lullaby
Using a wind-up musical mobile
As your child gets older, it can be helpful to keep to a similar bedtime routine. Too much excitement and stimulation just before bedtime can wake your child up again. Spend some time winding down and doing some calmer activities, like reading.
Leave a little time between your baby’s feed and bedtime. If you feed your baby to sleep, feeding and going to sleep will become linked in your baby’s mind. When they wake in the night, they’ll want a feed to help them go back to sleep.
How much sleep does your baby need?
Just as with adults, babies’ and children’s sleep patterns vary. From birth, some babies need more or less sleep than others. The list below shows the average amount of sleep babies and children need during a 24-hour period, including daytime naps.
Most newborn babies are asleep more than they are awake.
Their total daily sleep varies, but can be from 8 hours up to 16 or 18 hours.
Babies will wake during the night because they need to be fed. Being too hot or too cold can also disturb their sleep.
3 to 6 months old
As your baby grows, they’ll need fewer night feeds and will be able to sleep for longer. Some babies will sleep for eight hours or longer at night, but not all.
By four months, they may be spending around twice as long sleeping at night as they do during the day.
6 to 12 months
For babies aged six months to a year, night feeds may no longer be necessary and some babies will sleep for up to 12 hours at night.
Teething discomfort or hunger may wake some babies during the night.
12 months to two-year-olds
Babies will sleep for around 12 to 15 hours in total after their first birthday.
Two- to three-year-olds
Most two-year-olds will sleep for 11 to 12 hours at night, with one or two naps in the daytime.
Three- to four-year-olds
Most children aged three or four will need about 12 hours sleep, but this can range from 8 hours up to 14.
Some young children will still need a nap during the day.
Coping with disturbed nights
Newborn babies invariably wake up repeatedly in the night for the first few months, and disturbed nights can be very hard to cope with.
If you have a partner, ask them to help. If you’re formula feeding, encourage your partner to share the feeds. If you’re breastfeeding, ask your partner to take over the early morning changing and dressing so you can go back to sleep.
Once you’re into a good breastfeeding routine, your partner could occasionally give a bottle of expressed breast milk during the night. If you’re on your own, you could ask a friend or relative to stay for a few days so you can get some sleep.
Dealing with baby sleep problems
All babies change their sleep patterns. Just when you think you have it sorted and you’ve all had a good night’s sleep, the next night you might be up every two hours.
Be prepared to change routines as your baby grows and enters different stages. And remember, growth spurts, teething and illnesses can all affect how your baby sleeps.
If your baby is having problems sleeping or you need more advice about getting into a routine, speak to your health visitor.
Sleep and autism
Babies and children often have sleep issues but for those on the autism spectrum, sleeping well may be particularly difficult.
The National Autistic Society have a range of strategies that can be used to help your child sleep better.